Wrecked
by lordofthefluff32
Summary: Ana finds herself at a total loss when she realizes how much she needs Christian Grey in her life, but she is also seeing that he may be the best thing for her, but he may also be her downfall. Is love knowing someone may be your undoing, but you still want them with your entire heart? Ana goes on a journey to discover herself, and to see where her future, and heart can take her.


**Wrecked**

**Chapter One**

* * *

I can't sleep. Sweat pools around my body as the cotton sheets stick to my skin. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, aching as I struggle to breath. It has been this way for five nights.

For five long and dreadful nights, I have dreamt of his beautiful, lost grey eyes, searching for mine. I can't help but hope that he is thinking of me, and some part of me prays that he comes to find me. He found me once before… couldn't he do it again?

In my dreams, he's running towards me, his brows furrowed as his hand reaches forward. His mouth opens, and I think he's yelling my name. I can't hear him, though. I try to run into his arms, open and waiting for me, but as our hands touch, the world turns black and I'm falling… falling… deep, until I feel myself clutched from the dream world.

I gasp, my breathing harsh as I try to bring the air back into my lungs. I look around myself, realizing I'm in the new apartment in Seattle. Kate is still on her trip in Barbados, and I am utterly alone.

_He's not here… _My mind speaks to me, but I don't want to listen. Why hasn't he found me? Has he truly forgotten about me? I had hoped he thought I was different.

_Is this what he meant? If I walked away… I walked away from all of it. So… this is really the end? _

Tears pool in my eyes as heart wrenching sobs rack my body. My head falls into my hands as my knees fold beneath me. Christian… my sweet, sweet Christian… I can't stand to be without him. I can't believe I could have fallen in love with someone so easily, and how easily he could let me go.

I sigh deeply, standing out of my bed and reaching for the sheets. If Christian Grey could forget me so easily… then maybe I was meant to be forgotten.

_Christ. _

Jack has been more than unbearable today. He has been having odd mood swings. He is either really mean and hurtful, or he's Mr. Rogers. Today, it seemed he was the devil incarnate once more. Since I walked in this morning, he's been hot on my heels for just about everything. I had even arrived early, hoping to please my new boss by showing how ready I was to be at work. The truth of it, though, was that I couldn't stand to be at home. I hadn't been back to sleep since my dream, and my eyes were starting to show it. I had tried to apply make-up, taking some that Kate had left in the bathroom, and apply it under my eyes to make them less puffy. It's helped a little, but my eyes are still bloodshot.

I look to the clock, groaning inwardly. Jack would be yelling at me soon for his lunch, seeing as it was almost noon. I stand from my desk, marking the last page of the editorial I was revising, and grab my jacket from my chair. Making my way into Jack's office, I stop and look at the view from the lobby. I look to see if I can see Escala, but there are too many towers around me. I can see the top of Grey House, and it makes my heart flutter in my chest. I still loved him, even if I was just another sub to him.

I turn my back and continue towards my boss's office. Reaching it, I knock lightly on the door. I see Jack wave me in through the glass, and I hesitantly enter his office. He's on the phone, but upon seeing me, he smiles and tells the other person he's putting them on hold.

"Ana, heading to lunch?" He asks, seemingly in a better mood. I nod my head, shutting the door behind me.

"I was going to go to a café in town. Would you like anything?" I ask, my voice unusually quiet. Everyone knew I was shy, but I didn't feel much like talking as of late. So this was a bit of a shock for everyone here.

"The usual, if you don't mind. I'll pay you when you get back." He smiles at me once more, picking his phone back up. "Ana, have you lost weight? You look great." His grin is sickening, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I wish he would just pick a mood and stick with it. His eyes linger on me too often, and it makes me feel disgusting.

"I'll be back shortly, Mr. Hyde." I whisper, turning my back and opening the door, leaving his office. Since I came back, he has been friendlier during our short conversations. I'm not sure I like this side of Jack or not.

I leave SIP, walking at a brisk pace towards the sandwich shop that Jack usually has me go to for his regular. After obtaining his lunch, I head to the café that I had recently discovered. They carry my favorite type of tea, which seems to be the only thing I stomach lately. That, and dried toast.

Walking back into SIP, I take Jacks lunch directly to him, clearing that out of the way. He says nothing as I place the bag on his desk, handing me the money for his food. I take it, thank him, and head back into my own office across the hall.

As I pick up a piece of toast, I turn on my work computer, going to check and see if I have any new emails. There's one from Jack that has an attachment containing some more manuscripts I need to read over, one from my mother, and one from…

I gasp, looking again to my computer in shock.

_Christian!_

* * *

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Tea and Toast?

**Date: **June 8 2011 13:25

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Miss Steele

You look rather thin. When is the last time you've eaten?

Surely dried toast and tea is not enough to maintain a healthy diet.

We have discussed this issue before.

If you do not eat an actual meal, then I will be forced to take disciplinary action.

This is not a warning.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

* * *

I almost spit my tea over my keyboard as I read his email. He saw me? When? Where? Why won't he call me! Why can't he say that he might actually miss me, too?

I frown, hitting the 'reply' button with a few thoughts of my own.

* * *

**From: **Anastasia Steele

**Subject: **Get Over It

**Date: **June 8 2011 14:30

**To: **Christian Grey

Dear Mr. Grey

Apparently, what I do no longer concerns you.

Mind your own business and find someone else to control.

Goodbye, Christian.

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde, Editor, SIP

* * *

I hit the 'send' button with more force then I probably needed, but it felt good to tell him to shove it. I secretly did hope that he would just apologize and say he needed me, and that he didn't want to find someone else. I knew he would never say anything like that, though, and I had sort of come to the conclusion this may be one of the last times I talk to Christian Grey.

My inbox almost immediately chimes back to me, cutting my thinking time shorter than anticipated.

* * *

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Behavioral Issues

**Date: **June 8 2011 14:32

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Miss Steele

Everything you do concerns me. You are MINE.

I'm coming over to remind you of just that.

I'll see you soon.

Christian Grey,

Anxious and Angry CEO, Grey House Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

* * *

I gasp, looking around my office. Christian is coming here. To SIP?! No. No. No! He couldn't! Could he?

I reread his email, clinging to the P.S. Wait… had he been thinking of me? Was he upset that I had left him? That can't be true. He said it himself that he didn't do the hearts and romance thing.

I sigh, taking another sip of my tea. Let him come, then. We'll see how he really feels.

I don't respond, but even if I had, I don't think I would have gotten an answer, seeing as just ten minutes after his last email, the clerk at the counter was frantically calling me and saying that Christian Grey was here to see me.

"Send him in." I tell her, fixing my hair and smoothing over my skirt. I might not be wearing the finest clothes from Christian's personal shopper, but I thought that I looked nice. I wore a blue collared blouse that was tucked into a black pencil skirt, complete with black pantyhose and matching pumps. Simple, but professional.

Not a moment later my door is opened, calmly, and there stood the very reason for my heartache. Christian Grey, looking as immaculate as ever in his grey suit, white shirt, and tie… Oh my, he's wearing _that _tie. My mouth opens slightly, remembering the last time I met with that very article of clothing.

"Nice tie, Mr. Grey." I whisper, standing up and walking towards him. He smirks, shutting the door behind him and unbuttoning his jacket.

"It's becoming one of my favorites, Miss Steele. I can't fathom why." His grin is infectious, and I try not to look affected as I sit at the corner of my desk. Gesturing for him to take one of the chairs in front of my desk, he frowns at me.

"What do you want, Christian? I'm very busy." I lie, briefly looking over at the paperwork that's been done for nearly an hour. In reality, I had been daydreaming of him, of what he might be doing, and what we might be doing if we had been together.

He takes the opportunity to advance towards me, and I stand, trying to avoid him. It doesn't work, and he grabs both of my wrists, pinning them above me. Turning me quickly so that my back faced the window, he reaches over and turns in the blinds. Now, it's just the two of us… and my office is now quite darker, since I was relying on the light from outside.

"You, Miss Steele, have not been taking care of yourself." He frowns once more, leaning in so that I could feel his hot breath on my neck. "I will not have you starving yourself."

"Please, Christian. I thought you didn't want me in your life anymore, so what's it to you if I don't want to eat?" I snap, struggling against his hold. My hips bucked underneath of him, my body wriggling as I squirmed underneath of him. I hear a low chuckle from him as he thrusts his own hips forward, his knee pushing its way in between my legs to further entrap me.

"Your body still reacts to my own, Anastasia…" His voice is husky as he speaks, and I let out a small moan as his tongue licks a small trail on my neck. My body turns to Jell-O as one of his hands releases my wrist, trailing down to my waist.

"This isn't fair, Christian." I pout, gasping as he rips the button of my blouse so that my stomach is bared. His cold fingers splay against my belly, trailing upward as he cups my breast. I moan once more, my back arching to fill his empty hand.

"Fair? Who said anything about fair? Was it fair when you left me in my apartment like that? You wanted me to show you… and then you left me. Do you know how that made me feel? Pretty _unfair, _isn't it, Anastasia?" His words are acidic as his touch grows needier.

His mouth left my neck, lowering so that his lips touched my navel. I gasped sharply as wet kisses met my skin. Releasing my wrist and freeing his palm from my breast, his hands suddenly find my hips. In a quick motion, he lifts me so that my legs wrap around his waist, pinning my hands above me again once he's secured my weight.

"Christian… not my office! My boss is across the hall!" I spit, biting my lip as his nose rubs against mine.

"You're biting your lip, Anastasia. You know what that does to me…" He growls, grinding his hips into me again.

"Mr. Grey! My boss-"

"I don't give a fuck about your boss, Ana. I want you." His eyes are hard as I see his need. I feel that warm pool in my belly as his lips part, his eyes darting to look at my biting lip.

His lips crash to mine, and I feel, more than see, his hunger for me. I meet him kiss for kiss, my tongue darting into his mouth desperately searching for his. I'm rewarded as he bites my lip, taking the bottom into his teeth.

"Oh, Ana, what are you doing to me?" He whispers, chastely kissing me once more. And just like that, he puts me down, turning around to fix his appearance. I lean against the window, my hair a mess and my shirt ripper beyond repair. He leaves abruptly, not before telling me that I needed to fix my eating habits.

He closes the door behind him, and I feel a knot form in the bottom of my stomach. As I look at my reflection upon the glass, I sigh deeply. I had been a wreck without him, yet I was a wreck with him. The real question was, just what was Christian Grey doing to _me?_

* * *

**Authors Note:/ Yes, I know I'm not even done with my first FSOG story, but the plot bunnies were seriously after me on this one. This story, unlike FSOAU will not be updated as regularly, maybe once every few days, or even maybe once a week. I just wanted to get this out there, so maybe my mind will let me finish it. This story is loosely taking place after Ana leaves him the first time, but it will not be 100% as the book had it. So, it will be a little different. Hope you enjoy the first chapter, and as always, please read and review! **


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